The Honeymoon Phase

When I married Jace, he loved to play soccer and be outdoors.  He was always active and would spend every moment he was not working outside exploring and doing.  When he didn't have anyone to play soccer with, he started teaching the kids in the area HOW to play soccer and created his own playmates!  He started a full soccer club in the little town we lived in and his free time was spent sharing his love of being active with others. He couldn't understand how anyone would not WANT to go on an adventure or go see new things and places.  That passion and energy created MORE passion and energy and continuously drove us outside.  He camped, he ran, he explored and you could watch his curiosity and genuine thrill from learning something new.  I couldn't keep up with him.  I wasn't as physically energized as he was.  I wasn't athletic in any way.  I loved to be outdoors too though, and so I was a GREAT cheerleader!  I could plan everything out, and be constant companionship and support for whatever he came up with to do.  I could thoroughly enjoy anything he was doing...from the sidelines just fine.

It was during this time, that I learned a key feature about my husband.  One day he said he was having a coworker over to play a game.  Perfect.  He's made a friend, and wants to do something that I wasn't familiar with.  No problem.  I think I made some snacks and went about my day. I checked in from time to time, and watched as they set up the board on our living room floor.  Then I watched as they strategically placed all the little figures ON the board.  Then I watched as they played.  There were intense debates and discussions, as plans were made, armies were retracted, and as the HOURS passed, I started to lose patience. WHAT WAS THIS?!? 

 I played board games while I was growing up.  In FACT...I LOVED board games.  I could play Scrabble and Sorry like nobody's business!  BUT THIS was not anything I had ever seen before!  He hadn't prepared me for this!  Nothing had prepared me for this!  I know that by hour THREE, I was done!  I didn't realize that my entire day, and his limited time off was going to be spent playing a GAME!  I felt abandoned, I felt alone, I felt like he had this world and passion he loved, that did not include me.  I knew I didn't have the capacity for that level of strategy, and I DEFINITELY did not have the patience to sit through what he was clearly having great fun doing.  That's it...he married the wrong person.  I was not ever going to fit that bill of being his perfect partner. What game you ask...I know you're dying to know...it was the most basic introductions to strategy games...Axis and Allies

It was around this same time that I caught a glimpse of another key feature about my husband.  I grew up being forced to read list of books.  I had books for school that were required reading.  And I had books for personal growth that my parents had deemed necessary reading.  I ALSO remember at a very young age having a special "date" with a very patient, very sweet little old lady that would spend time helping me learn to read.  She would patiently work on techniques and skills I struggled with as a young reader.  Reading was not my strong suit.  My siblings, I remember, would get lost in books and wanted to spend hours and hours enjoying a good book, but the business of our lives would pull them away often.  They would read them on our long journeys and adventures, while I focused every ounce of energy to not throw up from the back of the van!  I was very prone to being car sick and so although those were perfect reading opportunities, I would sleep during most of our drives. Reading was a chore, a required line checking item, it was not to be ENJOYED!?!

We lived right across the street from the library for those first months of our marriage and one day Jace came home with a book.  It was a hefty little thing.  Much thicker than anything I had ever had to read.  He settled in on the bed and began to read.  

He made it to the end of the first chapter, and I was ready to get up and go do something else.  He kept reading.  He read, and he read, and he read some more! He was enthralled and invested in whatever it was that this book was! It wasn't a self help book.  It wasn't required reading or on a list he was accountable for!  We had very limited time between work and school and life's schedules that we could actually spend together and so I wanted his attention!  I wanted to do something "fun" with our day. I was bored, I wanted his attention, and I DID NOT understand what was SO interesting.  Looking back now, I realized I just didn't have something that I loved and was passionate about, that could keep me enthralled and that could occupy my time yet.  He devoured that entire book that day!  He still reminds me to this day...of THAT day.  He remembers how I would lay ON his book to try to get his attention and how I pestered him continually while he read.  This was another crucial/pivotal moment for us!  I didn't even know what to do with this!  

Fast forward just a few short months...

When we started our family, that took me out of the equation more and more, and pulled him inside a little more and more. I was beginning to learn things about my partner that I had never seen before in my atmosphere of living. 

 Life was busy with school and work and little ones, but Jace slowly started to introduce me to this world I knew nothing about.  At the same time school work was being done, he could download a video game on the PC, and as soon as it was loaded (back then it took hours, if not days) he would spend the rest of his waking hours, exploring the game.  It was a solitary sport as technology had not yet brought in the ability to talk to others or be connected to the world WHILE playing.  I remember peering through sleepy eyes and seeing him in the wee hours of the morning, trying to finish a level of the game.  I can't even remember what the first game that graced our computer was!  I had to go ask him if he remembered it!  To which he quickly reminded me that it was the original Warcraft game!  How did I forget that!?!  Life, however didn't allow much time for it so it always just lingered on the outskirts of our world.  He was a great student and worked hard to support our little family.  But when he had a free moment to himself, he was drawn to the computer.  And he answered that call.